Weird MU Spell Lists

The bfrpg spell list is a collection of "classical" spells, developed by Wizardo the Wizardly and expanded upon by his apprentices. But many wizards are not apprentice-descendants from that first wizard and thereby must be self-taught, leading to spells of their own creation. Following are some of those spell lists:

Jungle Wizards

In the Jungle of Devastation, a town was founded by explorers and misfits and outcasts. Together they built something of a wizarding tradition, a combination of alchemy, goblin bugomancy, and dwarven tenacity.

Glhorb Galorna, first goblin bugomancer of the jungle

First Level Spells

• Spider Climb: Touch range, lasts 1 turn/level, the target creature can climb walls and ceilings at full speed like a spider.
• Voice Transference: Touch a willing target and steal their voice for a duration of 1 day/level, or until the caster gives it up. For the duration, the caster can speak in the targets voice and the target is unable to speak (useful when combined with illusion spells/disguises).
• Shieldshield's Shield: As Shield but conjures a pair, doubling the bonuses to AC. They appear in the caster's hands and for the duration they cannot hold anything else, cast anything else, etc.
• Speak With Stones: As Speak With Animals but only works on rocks, gargoyles, earth elementals, etc. If cast on a nonsentient stone it imparts the ability to speak and think in a very limited manner.

Second Level Spells

• Web: As normal
• Wizard Lock: As normal
• Poison Fang: Touched target grows poisonous fangs for 1 round/level. This melee attack deals 1d6+str damage on a hit and forces a save vs poison, the enemy going blind for 1 turn/level on a failure.
• Potionify: Cast in concurrence with another spell (or with a willing ally's spell) and turn it into a potion. It retains potency for 1 hour/level, and imparts the effects of the original spell to the drinker (this may be used in malevolent ways, like tricking an enemy into drinking a potion of Fireball). 

Third Level Spells

• Hive Mind: Yourself and 1 touched creature per level gain telepathy with each other, for a duration of 1 hour/level while within 1 mile of each other.
• Swarm Form: As Polymorph Self, but can only turn the caster into a swarm of insects with 3HD. Lasts 1 minute/level, and you may choose whether the insects are fast, flying, or poisonous (save vs poison or take 1d6 poison damage each round while within the swarm).
• Elver's Quickened Transmutation: Transmutes a 1' cube of any of the following substances into any other one, for a duration of 1 day/level: stone, wood, dirt, flesh. If cast on a creature they gain a save vs petrify to resist and will not instantly die, but rather be disabled as their limb/body/head/etc is unusable.

Moon Giant Apprentices

There once was a giant who saw too much and was banished to the moon. There he researched and learnt over the countless eternities but his magic was not that of elemental manipulation but lunar manipulation, creating twisted and unusual sorts of spells. He eventually escaped back to the regular world, and has spread his knowledge to those apprentices with no other options.

First Level

• Voting Disc: Conjures a disc of magical force for 5 turns +1/level. It has the inexplicable rights to vote in any election, council meeting, party discussion, etc. It is very prone to suggestion.
• Tragic Mouth: A target within 30' must save vs spell or be cursed to only speak pessimistically for 1 hour/level. This grants a -2 to morale to any retainers/army/etc under their command.
• Floating Bisque: Conjures a bisque (the soup) that floats tantalizingly out of reach for 5 turns + 1/level. Useful for rations if it can be caught, or to lure monsters or similar.

Second Level

• Miasmal Force: The caster summons a terrible miasma into any shape that fits within a 20'x20'x20' cube. As long as the caster concentrates on it they may move the cloud at a rate of 30' a round and reshape it to their will, but when concentration is broken (eg they cast a spell, take damage, etc) the cloud dissipates. Anyone who begins their turn in the cloud or moves into it on their turn must save vs poison or be sickened and have -2 to attacks, saves, etc for that round, and creatures 3HD or under save or fall to the ground vomiting and useless until the cloud is dispersed.
• Lizard Lock: A door, chest, or portal within 20' is magically filled with lizards. You may place 1 HD/level worth of lizards (be they giant, small, or a swarm of tiny ones) into the lock. The caster of the spell and any who speak a designated passcode may pass freely, but anyone else who attempts to open the door will be greeted by the lizards attacking them. If the intruder is killed or driven away the surviving lizards will return to the door. If any lizard touches the door, they must save vs spells or be trapped by its magic as well.

Third Level

• Mold Person: 1 target/level within 60' must save vs spells or be affected with horrible mold. Any organic materials must save or be destroyed, and they take 1d6 damage at the beginning of each round for 3 rounds.
• Baste: Either choose 1d4 targets within 180', or 1 target who saves at -2. Targets save vs spells or be basted with delicious sauce for 2d8 turns, causing all monsters motivated by food to immediately attack them (though not mindlessly, they may still retreat).
• Protection from Formal Missiles: As Protection from Normal Missiles, but can block thrown boulders, ballista bolts, etc as well. But it only blocks missiles fired by those holding an official rank of prestige within an army or similar, that comes with badges and titles and formal wear.

G.U.A.R.D.S Agent Standard

When Zorthaniel the Iridescent helped found the G.U.A.R.D.S., he compiled his teachings and assorted apprentices into a regimented spellcasting force to aid with their world-stabilizing mission. The spell list was developed to aid with their infiltration and heists, including normally forbidden spells for the sake of the greater good.

First Level

• Charm Person: as normal
• Sleep: as normal
• Accursed Snakification of Limbs: Make an attack roll to hit a target, if touched they must save vs spell. On a failure, 1d4 limbs detach themselves and turn into 1HD snakes for 1 round/level who have no obligation to the caster. Regardless of if the target fails the save or not, an equivalent number of the caster's limbs are affected as well. If a limb can be retrieved before the duration expires and re-attached to the original body, it will be functional when the spell ends. If not, it is dead.

When you have been affected by Accursed Snakification of Limbs

Second Level

• ESP: As normal
• Invisibility: As normal
• Obscure Item: A target touched item no larger than a watermelon appears like another similar-sized mundane item for 1/hour per level, fooling the senses in every way but touch. A sword made to look like a broom will still cut, a torch will not glow but will still burn, etc. This hides magical auras from detection. 

Third Level

• Fly: As normal
• Hold Person: As normal
• Golemancy: Creates a golem out of a patch pure element (magma, ice, wood, clouds, lightning, metal, or blood), having 2 HD per caster level. The caster must sacrifice 1d4 points of intelligence, wisdom, or charisma to impart their golem with a mind, and the golem follows the caster's instructions with perfect loyalty. This ability score loss is permanent and cannot be reverted until the golem is destroyed.

THE DEEP

Origins

When the Serpent Queen chained the moon and called down it’s power to save her people, the stars began falling. Some faster than others and some slower, but those that reached the world before The Watcher took over the sky could not stop falling, and plunged into the depths below. They warped and mutated all they shone upon, twisting beasts into abominations, half-worldly and half of the moon. These Things roamed the surface world and began unmaking, ripping apart the elemental world and replacing it with that which is lunar (which accelerated the already quickly-collapsing Serpentine Empire).

Then The Watcher came and drove all these Things away, and they hid in the depths, so deep that the sunlight could not reach them and even deeper still, so that those following the sun could not reach them. And thus The Watcher stayed ever-vigilant, keeping back the stars above and the things below but they still lived and still stirred, and the world under the world grew more wretched and more horrible until it came to be known as THE DEEP.

Art of a star by one of my current players

Elves

While the snakes may have ruled the world and mastered the elements, the elves were clever and patient and hid in their hidden places and watched and waited. When the Serpent Queen failed to tame the moon, they watched and they waited and they learnt, and once the snakes were fully gone they emerged and began to experiment. They built a tower to the moon and learnt its secrets but then The Gods came and with them all their wars and strife. Some elves joined and some fled, but some were angry and vengeful for they believed they were on the precipice of greatness and as such delved to THE DEEP to continue their accursed research on the stars. 

Ignorant of their workings, the world above carried on for a time, until these deep-elves believed themselves ready, masters of the moon and the stars and the Things of the world below. The deep-elves tunneled upwards and broke ground ready to claim the world as theirs but the world above had changed too, and they found themselves met by the elves above, guided by their new Seer goddess and with the new practice of "wizardry", it was a mighty fight indeed. They fought in the rivers and the valleys, in the woods and the mountains, and that tunnel upwards from THE DEEP has turned a corner of the great elven forest into a Cloakwood, and the fight continues to this day. Many a surface-elf devotes their life to mastering the arts of blade and spell to redeem or slay their fallen brethren, and hold back these Things from the rest of the unwary world.

Art of a deep elf drawn by one of my past players

Dwarves 

The dwarves live in their holds and dig deep, but their holds are in mountains so often they do not dig so deep after all. But the ones that do, both the great and mighty cities that go further and further below as well as the weak cities that were never built into a mighty mountain in the first place, they will always inevitably dig into THE DEEP. Of course they could be content with what they have and stop digging but that is not their way, instead they prepare and build traps and turn their holds into impenetrable fortresses to be attacked from two fronts, one from the peoples above and another from THE DEEP below. And often this works for they only scrape at the top layers of THE DEEP far from the fallen stars, save for one notable exception.

It is unknown whether the dwarven city-fortress of Deephold was named such because it was planned to be dug deeper than any other before it, because it was built to defend against THE DEEP, or if the name was retroactively given after the connection was made, but either way it was dug as a home for the King Under the Mountain, ruler of the Western dwarves. Deephold thrived while below it an evil was bubbling, and THE DEEP was breached deeper than ever before. A truly horrible Thing emerged, one which reshaped the world around it with naught but a thought as easily as it could reshape the moon from where it hailed. The king fell in battle and so too did his armies, and the Western dwarves shattered into three disunified kingdoms. The Thing fell asleep as it was to do, yet still dreamed and reshaped fallen Deephold while an incursion from THE DEEP spilled forth.

This incursion was weaker and less organized than that of the deep-elves and as such the dwarves beat it back easily, for all their cities are prepared for such incursions, and the beasts were slain all the way up to the gates of the fallen city, which were sealed shut with powerful magics and a town built atop, to ensure all would be well. This lasted for hundreds of years until a descendent of that King Under the Mountain thought himself greater than his forefathers and unsealed the city. Thus the Thing's dream escaped and spread across the mountains to envelop the other dwarven kingdoms, but the heir infiltrated the dream and convinced the sleeping Thing to dream itself out of existence, and from then the dwarven armies could easily push the beasts all the way back to THE DEEP from where they came and reclaim Deephold, to begin the process of uniting the dwarves once again.

My banner for the campaign in which Deephold was reclaimed (they all had darkvision)

God's Calendar

Days

A day is the length of the cycle of The Watcher's gaze. For half the time he gazes upon the world and tallies the sins of all he sees, judging evil things and smiting them. During this "daytime" the horrid things on the moon plot and scheme and the stars draw closer, so The Watcher turns his gaze around and plunges the world into darkness. The things on the moon retreat to their tunnels and crates and the stars cease their motion, while criminals and monsters and undead roam free to plague the world below. When all the moon-things have been driven away and the scoundrels of the world have had enough time, The Watcher turns around and the cycle begins anew. 

Weeks

In the world before the sun, time was kept by the roaming of the titans around the world. This was useful because each had it's own purpose, a visit from Wood grew plants while Ice killed them, Cloud brought the rains and Lightning the storms, and once a land had been visited by every titan at least once, another "week" was marked. Once the titans were contained and The Watcher vigilant in the sky, this denomination was kept to sort the days into neat groups of seven.

Months

The moon is full of things that glow and dim, that move and change, and as such the surface of the moon glows and dims with them. This once was unpredictable and chaotic but the Serpent Queen bound the moon to the world and as such bound the cycles of the moon above to the cycles of the world below, such that they would sync. When the gods calmed the elements so too did the moon calm with them by the Serpent Queen's chains, and now it cycles once per week, from full to half to none to half to full again, growing in power and influence and weakening again. Four weeks make a month, one full rise and fall of the moon.

Years

The year did not exist before the gods, it was specifically designed when they bound the elements to stability. They each claimed a month for themselves and left a tenth empty to remember their fallen brother The Judge, and then wove the seasons to make a time of planting and time of harvest, a time of life and a time of death.

Ages

The world is young, or at least the calendar of the gods is young. The years are split by an event known as "the calming", which marked the end of the great genocide and banishment of the peoples of the Beastlands, by the dwarves building fortresses in the Beastland Pass, thus stopping the wars and allowing civilization in the North to flourish. (For reference, my first campaign took place in the year 216 After-Calming, less than even the life of a single dwarf).

Seasons and Holidays

The year is split into four uneven seasons, Spring and Fall having two months each and Summer and Winter having three. Each month is claimed by a god, and each containing a holiday or holy period on or surrounding the 17th day of that month. Holidays are celebrated in all the god-worshipping lands in the North, though they may be more or less prominent based on the prevailing local gods, and are not paid any attention in the Beastlands of the south. They are as follows:

1. Month of the Cultivator - The beginning of spring, a time of planting and new life. It's holiday is a week-long Birthing Festival, where mothers do not die during childbirth, children always come out healthy, and animals are born strong and powerful. Nobles will often (unsuccessfully) attempt to time it such that their children are born during this festival, or engage in questionable rituals and magics to ensure such.
2. Month of the Mage - The end of spring, a time when all are restless and plans for the upcoming year are made. The 17th day of the month is Opposite Day, holy to the tricky and mischievous god. All who do the proper prayers and play truly impressive pranks will have their lives flipped, Fighters turning into Magic-Users and vice-versa, and Clerics into Thieves and vice-versa (alignments would be flipped as well, but I do not use alignment in my games since The Judge is dead).
3. Month of the Watcher - The beginning of summer, when The Watcher grows brighter and his gaze even more ever-present. The 17th day of the month is the Festival of Calling, when any town which collectively does the proper prayers and makes the proper sacrifices (usually 5000gp worth of rare incense and burnt offerings and such) gets an angel sent by The Watcher to aid them. Either by answering questions about the vastness of all under the sun, or holy smiting with all the wrath of the sun.
4. Month of The Champion - The middle of summer and the hottest time of the year. While most would want to spend this time lazing about, the strong and righteous take part in Departure Day. Any who depart on a holy quest that is Champion-approved will have their quest blessed (lowered chance of unwelcome random encounters and increased reaction rolls), at least until the end of the year.
5. Month of The Warrior - The last month of Summer and a common times for wars and raids at the end of campaign season. The 17th day of the month is Fisticuff Fest where the bloodthirsty goddess demands conflict. All attack and damage rolls are made at +2 and brawling is not punished in most settlements as to not incur the wrath of The Warrior (as long as it doesn't get too out of hand, like random murder sprees).
6. Month of The Inventor - The beginning of Fall, and harvest season. The 17th day of the month is called Math Night by the whimsical goddess, as all who give prayers do not need to sleep and she wishes they would stay up doing calculations (though most just relax or work twice as hard).
7. Month of The Architect - The end of Fall, a time when all are rich with food and must cooperate to prepare for the coming Winter. The 17th day of the month is Crowning Day, when The Architect solves political conflicts by smiting unworthy kings wearing crowns and blessing the worthy. For some reason, it is common tradition for rulers to set their crowns down for the duration of the holiday.
8. Month of The Seer - The beginning of Winter, a time of anticipation and determination. Those wishing to take the edge off participate in the High Festival, a week-long period where those who smoke, lick toads, or otherwise get high are blessed/cursed with spontaneous prophecies and premonitions by the wise goddess.
9. Month of The Keeper - The middle of Winter and coldest month of the year, gloomy with death from the cold and disease, The Keeper's angels working double-time to keep up with all the souls. The 17th day of the month is Grave Day, when angels of The Keeper are ever-present, resurrections impossible, and undead dormant pretending to be corpses. It is a time when necromancers are confronted without fear and tombs secured and reset to ensure the undead within do not escape.
10. Month of Remembrance - The end of winter, and a time to remember the dead god The Judge. There is no holiday for there is no god, but some celebrate their survival of Winter nonetheless.

In the beginning...

Men

In the beginning there were the Ten Gods, or so the Men say. The gods wove a world out of seven elements, and it was suffused with land and sea and trees and life. They left their world to it's own devices to watch how it would grow, and grow it did indeed. The elements strode across the land leaving change in their wake and it was creation, but it was not what the gods wanted.

The gods wanted a world to flourish, for grand civilizations to rise, to be a home for people. This could not happen while the elements roamed free, for they destroyed as much as they created, so the gods hatched a scheme. They would trap their own creation within a stable form, but their creation fought back. Thus a clash, God against Titan, the Dawn War. All the peoples of the world chose a side, the humans and dwarves and elves and such siding with the gods, while the orcs and goblins and lizardmen and such sided with the titans. Those titan-followers were fools as the gods had created the titans, but nevertheless their treachery allowed one god to be slain before the elements were contained, thus The Judge fell from the heavens and objective morality was no more.

As punishment for their betrayal a great purge was enacted, all those who fought on the side of the titans were banished to the Beastlands, and under the direction of The Architect the dwarves sealed up the only pass with a line of impenetrable fortresses. Thus the beasts were trapped where they belonged, in the lower half of the world where not much grew and the gods did not give their gifts.

And so the world carried on, the kingdoms of man and dwarf and elf and such rising, but falling too to their greed and hubris and other faults for The Judge was slain, the pantheon incomplete, the afterlife broken, and objective morality shattered.

Counterclockwise from the left: The Watcher, The Keeper, The Cultivator, The Inventor, The Mage, The Architect, The Warrior, The Champion, The Seer, and The Judge

Giants

In the beginning there was the Giant King, or so the giants say. The world was full of life but none truly Alive save for the Giant King, so he had seven sons with the seven elements and thus the lords of Magma, Lightning, Clouds, Ice, Wood, Metal, and Blood were born. The Giant King retired to his castle, done with creation in favor of rulership. The seven Lords had not yet tried creation so together they had many children, not pure beings of elements like they but still mighty, and called them "Giants" for they were giant indeed. 

The Giants lived for glory and greatness, fighting the beasts of the earth and eating and drinking, but there was much to be done and none to do it, so they pleaded to their Lords for servants who would be small and weak and tasty and could serve, so the Lords combined their elements and made cattle and chicken and all the other servant-beasts, and the Giant King emerged from his castle to ensure that all was well.

Then the dragons came down from places unknown, true rivals to the Giants. The world was not large enough for both so they warred, Magma dragon against Wood Lord, Lighting against Metal, Ice against Cloud, and so on and so forth. Many on both sides were slain, until the ruler of the dragons, a truly titanic creature, wished to make a deal. The elemental Lords were shaken for bigger is better and this dragon was the biggest of them all, so they called out the Giant King from his castle. The Giant King scoffed and tore the dragon asunder into a thousand thousand pieces, splitting it's mind amongst all the chickens as punishment. But all the displaced chicken-brains needed somewhere to go so they were placed into the thousand thousand pieces of the slain dragon birthing a new kind of creature, one with a thousand-thousandth the body of a dragon and the intelligence of a chicken. The giants called this creature "man", and made it serve like the chickens before them.

All was well for a long time, except the Giant King had retreated to his castle again, and his castle retreated from the world. Without their King to guide them, the Giants grew weaker of mind though they were still strong of body, and their manservants plotted in secret, thought to be too small to be dangerous. The men prayed for freedom and prayed and prayed until they prayed Ten Gods into being, and the gods brought them out from under the shadow of the Giants. With no King to guide them all elemental Lords fell, save for three which were smiled upon by one of the new gods, The Inventor, and sequestered away in an island far from danger. Thus the lords of Magma, Wood, and Cloud hid while the rest of the surviving giants scattered to the mountains and hills and the world was ruled by men and their derivatives like elves and dwarves, and even the shameful halfling descendants of giants.

Top left to bottom right: Magma, Lightning, Cloud, Ice, Wood, Metal, and Blood

Serpents

In the beginning there was an egg, or so the snakes say. From that egg hatched septuplets, seven Titans of immeasurable power. They played and fought, wrestled and danced, and where their elements combined the world was born. From Magma came the earth, from Cloud and Ice the seas, from Wood the trees and plants, from Metal all that hides below, from Blood came life, and from Lightning the spark of intelligence.

The first pitiful creature to be struck with Lightning became aware, saw the world around it, and declared itself ruler of all. It learnt the patterns of the elements and learnt how to use them, and found others like itself. The Sea Serpent, the Dragon Turtle, Ursa, and other primordial ur-beings. But it did not have shape or name like them, so the Sea Serpent bade it to choose something that wriggles upon the ground and uplift it, to guide it to greatness.

So this ruler of all chose the land-serpents and named itself Serpent Queen, and brought them to Lightning so that they may become aware too, and took the Sea Serpent as her consort, for he thought of the idea. These land-serpents learnt to tame the elements as well and became great and mighty, and moved to inhabit the world in it's entirety. 

But while they conquered the world they could not conquer death, for they were born of the elements and must return to them as well, so the Serpent Queen sought for something outside of the elements to save her people, and found it in the Moon. She caught the swift moon with chains and bolted it to her world and captured it's light, but no matter what she could not learn it like she learnt the elements, and no matter how many goblins and trolls she made they all could still die.

So fearful of their inevitable deaths, the land-serpents built great fortresses and froze themselves in stone, the most stable of children forged of Magma and Ice, to await when their Queen had found a solution. But the Serpent Queen was disillusioned, and saw that her serpents did not love her so but just expected her to serve them, and such froze herself in stone as well to await when they woke up, and as such the entirety of the Serpentine Empire quickly and quietly went to sleep, to never wake again.

The Visage of the Serpent Queen